I want my radical queer and trans communities to understand the violence we do to each other, I want us to understand it using our own words and stories. I want us to find healing in the ways we are doing it better and I want us to create spaces for healing all around us. I want us to not get ahead of ourselves in our quest for better community engagement models. I want us to build our capacity for complexity and to continue moving beyond the domestic violence movement catch phrases like ‘you did what you needed to survive” and “it’s not your fault” that we’ve relied on for far too long. I want us to stay connected with each other and to practice vigilance during the times our friends fall off the map. I’ve yet to see a structured community accountability model that I would want to recreate in my life and communities, but at the same time I’ve also seen so much growth in our movements and in the people around me. I’m excited about creating the conditions for loving each other the very best way we know how — beautifully, fully, and as people who can act powerfully and make choices on our own behalf.